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In reflection, March completely failed me as much as I failed March.

It began on a high with my presentation at the Google Apps for Education (first ever) Middle East Summit.  Loved the experience and am even further motivated professionally.

The crash came on the day of my return.

At 2:37 p.m., after a great morning out with my girls at the Scientific Center, and only moments before I planned to head into work, my nanny had a seizure.  She collapsed on the floor seconds after she had set the baby down.  Luckily, I knew what to do to ensure she didn’t hurt herself during the seizure.  My four-year old was brilliant in helping me get her sorted and in getting me my phone to call emergency.  And at least my 18-month old wasn’t crying…

After an afternoon at emergency with both girls, I headed back to for the remainder of the evening, desperately trying to get an emergency helper for the next day while trying to sort out what was wrong with my nanny.

The rest of the month disappeared completely.

Our nanny returned home to India (she’d been with Madison since she was 12 weeks old).  School for both Marcus and I has been mad and we’ve been operating with temp help at home.  Needless to say, things have been a bit stressed.

In looking forward, I think I’ll just re-focus and re-do.  When I began this monthly resolution plan in January, I set topics for January, February, March and May, leaving April blank.  Perhaps fortuitous, perhaps not?

At any rate, April will be a month of getting caught up:

• I’m finishing up major projects for two classes, one for my MFA and one for my COETAIL program,
• we’re in the midst of planning for a successful 13-14,
• there are the logistics of finishing up this school year,
• I’m headed out on an accreditation visit next week,
• and I’m working on the ISTE SIGDS executive committee (we just started Tweetchats this week).

My biggest challenge for this month hails from my favorite inspirational leadership philosophy, FISH!  I have only one resolution for this month.

I plan to “Be There!”

I will “Be There” for each of these upcoming major projects.  Rather than “march” through, I will go back to baby steps.  With slow and deliberate attention to task.  Like I do when I play with my girls, I will “Be There” with full attention.

I think the crash was necessary.  Even though it created a series of stressors, it slowed things down a bit.  And it forced a new (and better) perspective.  So thank you March, for reminding me to stop marching.

“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.”

–John De Paola

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Not very far into my reading of Spark by Jon J. Ratey, I am met with a recurring and disturbing impression.  In the opening chapter, he writes about the trend of cutting physical education programs in school “in favor of increasing study time in math, science, and English” (19), which does “not improve test scores, as so many school administrators assume” (20).

It is this statement about what school administrators assume that first caught my attention.

Later, Ratey describes a revolutionary restructuring of the school day that allows time for daily PE, “noting that it was an administrator’s suggestion” (31).

Nothing in either of these statements necessarily negates administrators, and yet, there is a subtle subtext:

• In the first statement, it is the administration that favors cutting PE.  Perhaps it is also the core teachers?  Or the lack of innovation in the PE program?  Or a host of other reasons?
• In the second statement, there is an element of surprise that an administrator would deem to think of something so innovative to protect a program.

I don’t know Ratey’s personal opinions of administrators, but I do notice that there seems to be a common misassumption amongst the general public that administrators and teachers are on opposite sides.  I thoroughly disagree, which is why I designed the following model to discuss with our faculty last August:

Graphic Design by Daniel Kilback

This is the model by which we successfully operate.  The message is clear: every adult in a student’s life is vested in his or her success.  There are no sides.  There are only adults who support and encourage learning.

Why then, this common misassumption that administrators are not on side?

To answer, I’d like to reference administration in the English system.  The principal in a traditional English school is called the Head Teacher.  This implies master teacher or expert, and the principal has been selected because he is the voice of experience.  They are not as vested in degrees, but rather experience.  The model itself embodies the head of the school as the master of the profession.

Personally, I like that we get degrees and certifications in leadership.  I like that we are focused on continuing education.  However, I dislike that this, mistakenly, pits educators against each other.

At the risk of sounding dogmatic, I think we need to remember that students are our business.  We educators are a passionate, opinionated and autonomous lot.  Yet, we all have the best interest of students at the forefront.  We may do things differently, and we may disagree.  However, I think it essential that we remember we are all on the same team.  Let’s not buy into the misassumption that we are not.

Remember, there are no sides, only people, with all their weird and wonderful dynamics!

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I can’t say I was highly successful in keeping track of my resolutions log this month, but I did go to it often, if only to check what I was not doing.  The log itself is helpful even if I am not filling it out daily – and I love the daily resolutions I am trying to keep.

If I had to grade myself for February, I’d say that I passed with stars and failed miserably.  Ah, such is the life of a parent…the contrasts of each day.

What did I do really well?

1. I continued to keep my January resolutions,
2. I spent a lot of time cuddling and playing with my girls, and
3. I was definitely more loving,

except with my voice…

I had a very hard time using a kind tone all of the time.  In fact, I think I had more occasions of not using a kind tone this month than normal.  (I might add that my toddler has recently started testing and laughs with glee anytime she crosses a boundary.)  Or maybe, I am hoping this is true and I am just more cognizant since I started keeping track.  Certainly, patience is a virtue I must continue to foster in myself.

My March Resolution to “Be More Fun” will certainly help with patience.  Too often, I am so busy that my focus narrows to my daily list of tasks.  Even when I am not doing, I am not as engaged with people as I could be.  And so for March, I vow to “be more fun.”

Fun and spontaneous!

Such as last night, when Mia asked me to dance to the closing credits of Land Before Time, where we ended up leaping across the living room and pirouetting to the tune.  And then, when Mia grabbed the Wii remotes, I let her stay up for an extra half-hour while we played Wii Dance and had a great little party, just the two of us.  Exhilirating and fun!

Did I finish everything on my to-do list last night?  No!  But I had a great time, and the things will always get done.  I have to remember that it’s the process, not the product that is most important.  Especially when parenting.

For March, I will

1. Laugh everyday
2. Have a monthly excursion with Marcus
3. Host two dinner parties
4. Reinstitute “Mia/Mommy” and “Madison/Mommy” days
5. Tell a funny story in company (yes, just one – I am a writer not a speaker)

With these resolutions, I am having fun!

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Currently, I am taking two online courses, so vastly different that the need to explain these differences in the context of learning has consumed me for several weeks.

Since moving overseas in 2000, I have taken countless online courses, for my low-residency MFA program, for my COETAIL technology certificate and for re-certification hours.

I’ve taken courses on Blackboard, on Moodle and via blog postings and Google Drive.

I’ve taken courses from the University of New Orleans, from Northern Arizona University and from SUNY Buffalo.

I’ve had excellent professors. And I’ve had professors who might have been excellent had they grasped the technology which with they were working.

Student Learning is the Goal!

Firstly, whether we are teaching in a classroom or online, the primary goal should be that of learning. Whatever research you adhere to, there is nothing out there that denies that student learning is at the heart of instruction.

Yet, far too often, whether online or in a classroom, we, the instructors, become so consumed with the content that we paralyze learning.

Far too often, we equate rigor with quantity and burden students with endless tasks and readings that compartmentalize learning and disengage the learner.

Far too often, we fail to put the learner at the center of the learning experience.

At present, I am entombed in this battle and it is causing me to feel a great deal of resentment and anger. At this point in my journey as a learner, I shouldn’t be jumping through hoops.

I should be learning.

I wonder how often our students feel the same?

The cause of my anguish (yes, I realize the strong word choice), I believe, is the contrast I am seeing in my two vastly different courses.

Learning as Reflection!

In the last year, I have taken five excellent COETAIL courses in which reflection has been the key product of all learning. There has been an enormous amount of content to read, decipher and grasp. There have been projects that challenge me and cause me to grapple. I am currently working on a ten-minute digital story that will encompass all I have learned. This is not an easy course, and yet, I have never been more engaged or motivated. In fact, I believe I have found new directions and innovations with which to lead.

Through all of this, I have never felt overwhelmed. I have never felt frustrated. In fact, I have a constant stream of thoughts and ideas running through my head. The content has so engaged me because at the heart of the content, the instructors asked me to participate, to write about what I learned and to reflect upon my thinking and my practice.

Task as Learning?

To contrast this phenomenal experience, I am also taking a lit course as I finish up my MFA in poetry. This is my second masters. It is a degree I began because I love to write. I don’t need it for any certifications. I like to call it my indulgent degree, and for the most part, it’s been a fantastic experience.

However, I am noticing that with some, less innovative professors, I may as well be an undergrad, sitting in a classroom, twenty years ago. This is how little some of these classes have changed.

If, as Prensky and Puentedura state, technology is meant to redefine our practices so that we can do “new things in new ways,” my current professor has failed miserably.

This offends me as a learner. It offends me as an educator.

Let me explain my distress:

• Each week, we have weekly readings to which we need to respond with a very detailed and prescriptive prompt
• The prompts fall on the lower to mid levels of Bloom’s Taxonomy – it’s busy work
• The readings and prompts are incredibly time-consuming and largely disjointed
• We have word lengths that we must adhere to for each assignment AND for each response
• Yes, that’s what I said; sometimes, we should respond in 25 words, sometimes in 50
• There are late penalites and strict time deadlines listed
• There is so much content to process, with no personal connection, that I don’t have time to learn

In looking at the above, many might think I am the crazed one. Teachers should have late deadlines, correct? They should assign readings, correct? They should assign the questions?

Well, sure, if you want to go with how it’s traditionally been done. But there is so much more my professor could be doing that would get me really learning:

• She could have us use the readings to conduct an in-depth author study and then have us write and revise our work based on these models
• She could have us apply any of the readings to poems we have written in order to demonstrate understanding and reflect on our own work
• She could have us choose one of our three main points of study, and conduct further research in a number of different ways

My point is that with the same information and content, she could put me at the center of learning, ask me to do the research, to pose the questions, and ultimately bring it back to my craft as a poet.

Instead, I am plodding along, doing everything I have been asked, utterly confused at points, and totally unable to see the connection from week to week, sometimes even within the week.

I am engaged in a series of learning experiences, any one of which could be excellent if we went a bit deeper, but in their current “coverage” fashion…

I am not learning.
I am doing.
Without reflection.
Without cause.
Without gain.

Moving Beyond this Realm

1. We know that broad coverage of content is not effective.
2. We know that quality over quantity is better.
3. We know that we must engage students so that they can learn.
4. We know that learning requires reflection.

If we know the above, then we have a responsibility to practice it. We have a responsibility to look at our content and make decisions. We have a responsibility to design learning experiences that motivate students. No one should feel as I currently do – frustrated because I don’t have time to really learn because I am so busy performing teacher directed tasks.

As educators at every level, let us please put our students at the center of the learning experience!

If you’re keeping track of my mini-resolution project, you’ll be happy to know that I’m still with it.  For the month of January, I kept track of my progress each day on my Resolutions Chart.

Did I meet each goal every day? Absolutely not!

In fact, some goals, I met very little at all, but the fact that I was aware of this, kept me more in tune, and thus happier nonetheless.

I am keeping most of January resolutions, though modified slightly to better suit, such as insisting that writing daily comes separate from social media or reading, both of which I must also attend to each day.

I am also adding February goals.  This month, I vow to be more in tune with gentleness. February’s theme is to Be More Loving.  To do this, I will

• Use kind words and a gentle voice
• Practice patience
• Give more hugs and cuddles (with my family)
• Practice gratitude by writing in my gratitude journal and writing at least one thank you note per day

The overall goal is still Balance.  I am still striving for personal and professional balance, for family versus personal balance.  Hmnnn…there is a lot of the personal there.  I dream of one day and night alone at home with no one else in the house.

Solitude, not for long, just for a day…

In addition to reading a lot of Tweets and Blogs about resolutions and annual reflection lately, I have also been reading Gretchen Rubin’s newest book Happier at Home.  It has inspired me to write my own resolutions with a monthly theme as well as reflect on my own personal commandments, which I have determined are to

1. Be present – invite, engage and listen.
2. Radiate peace and calm.
3. Slow down and relax.
4. Be deliberate and intentional in thought and action.
5. Be kind with words and tone.
6. Examine, learn, then move on - bu ni shiang tai duo (don’t think too much).
7. Love and be loved.
8. Process over product engenders learning and inspiration.
9. Do it today!
10. Engender trust with modeling, kindness, honesty and communication.
11. Delve.
12. Reflect and reframe often.

Perhaps the most illuminating way to find your flaws is to see them reflected in your children.  My adorable, charming and quite cheeky four-year-old has recently started adopting many of my husband’s and my expressions.  Even worse, she has gotten our tone down pat, hence the resolution to always “speak with a kind tone.”

Some of these commandments hold more relevance at home, others more at work.  However, I think they cross both paths.  For example, it is okay to think in terms of love at work.  I love my students.  I love my school.  I love my work.

My favorite phrase lately is that of reframing.  This so nicely fits with my blog theme of looking “behind the closed door” to find a different truth.  Anything and everything can be framed differently in order to look differently.

It’s been quite nice framing things in the positive.

Who do I want to be?

Even more importantly, who do I want my children to be?

A recent decision requires a “tell” but there is a history to the decision that needs to be told.  There are so many plays on the idea of story, storytelling, history, and telling…all interconnected.